Just Keep Worrying

2021-05-29 · essays

Not my words: a monologue by Exurb1a, which I posted on 2021-05-29 because it said something I could not.

So, you're worried about a thing, are you?
Might be a bill you can't pay, might be a job interview.
Might be your career falling apart. Whatever.
But the best thing you can do in this situation is just to think about it as much as possible.
Don't do anything about it.
Just make sure you keep worrying because that always makes problems go away.

Look at all those people.
Whatever you're worrying about must be a million times worse than anything they can imagine. They've definitely never had to face a personal crisis. I'm sure they never felt lonely, been sued, lost family members, spouses, children.
They probably never been fired or been in love with someone who didn't love them back or panicked about their career, or anything most humans go through in a lifetime.

Because whatever you're worried about is definitely the biggest thing that has ever happened to anyone. Ever.
No one has ever been to war so they wouldn't understand what you're going through.
They haven't approached Omaha Beach and known they are probably going to be dead in a few minutes.
No one has ever been trapped in a damaged spacecraft, thousands of miles from the earth, running out of oxygen.
No one has had to face constant bombing from the air that turned up without warning.
Somehow whatever it is recently you've got on your mind, that justifies you losing sleep.
And being a total dick to yourself.

Well, you know best. Luckily humans live forever and never age.
So don't worry, you've got infinite time to hold yourself back with doubts.
And actually, it's worse than that.
You know, if the bad thing does happen, where you don't get the job or you embarrass yourself somehow we're all gonna be laughing at you.
All seven billion of us
We don't have our own lives, or relationships, or children, or careers.
We're just waiting to see you fuck up.
The entire planet is going to turn up at your house and write "lol" on your door. In piss.
That's what's gonna happen.