The Nihilist Waltz

2021-06-06 · essays

Not my words: a monologue by Exurb1a, which I posted on 2021-06-06 because it said something I could not.

"Go on", the old woman said. "Drink a little."
"What is it?", he said.
"This, is the indulgence you'll kill the snake with."
And with that, he drank.
And when the cup came away, the old woman grabbed his hand and led him into a dance.

The mountain began to spin about them, the colours blurring.
"What's happening?!", He yelled.
And the old woman yelled, "That's it! Dance, you bastard!"

And he and the old woman danced across the mountain, over the debauchery, and under the moon.
And suddenly, he was not thinking of his father; or the snake, or the village.
"What if there's no point to anything?" the old woman sang. "Who cares?"
"Who cares?" Tao agreed.
"Tragedies happen, people die. It's all a game, it's all a facade!
"There's no salvation, no meaning!"
He saw into the heart of things now and knew there was no "hard";
That everything was suffering, and even that didn't matter.
A joke God was playing on the world, for nothing more than his own sick amusement.
They moved to the cliff. Feet stepping in perfect time, the stars spinning about at a dizzying pace.
And the mountain echoed with the music of reckless abandon, and nothing mattered now.
"Fuck 'em", He thought. "Fuck 'em."
And they danced the nihilist waltz, long into the night, until the sun began to rise.