Getting Past an Unrequited Crush

2023-02-07 · essays

To get past an unrequited crush is to realize that the crush and the actual person you have a crush on are not the same.

In this sense, one needs to separate themselves from the pursuit both in recognition of the overall comfort level of the pursuit and for the fact that even if you attain their affection, they are unlikely to fulfill your wild ideals.

Then without minimizing the crush, it seems best for the pursuer to note the ideals of their crush that justified their obsession; was it emotional stability? Was it curiosity? Was it playfulness?

A crush can be a sign of that which we care about and that we feel is missing in our own lives. Could you apply these attractive ideals to your own life without the approval of your crush?

Instead of seeing other infinitely complex individuals as simply attractive tools to help you self-actualize, perhaps the more emotionally mature and ethical course of action is in doing that work yourself.

This is perhaps best summed up by the researchers viewed from the proposal that limerence is being driven by the psyche of the limerent individual. One can speculate that this focus may reflect a need for the limerent to allow repressed, more authentic parts of their personality greater access to conscious living.